Estrogen Delay

I went to my RE today... My lining is good at 10.3 (anything above 7 makes my doctor happy!). However, my estrogen level is only 83, and they want it above 120. I have to take, get this...
12 estrace pills a day!! I was taking 6 and thought that was a lot. The pills are about the size of 1/2 a tic tac, so they are no big deal. The bummer is that they are pushing my FET day back, and that's if my estrogen level goes up... If its not up... CANCELLED... yuck. I'm so bummed about the whole thing. I was looking forward to having my 2 bed rest days, and then 2 days to chill out at home... Not anymore... and that's if it isn't cancelled.

I told J it was as if God didn't want me to have a baby. Of course he told me that wasn't true, but what if it is? God, if you are listening, I will be the best mom I can be to my baby(ies)! I will spoil them with love. They will never, ever doubt that I care. I won't get angry when they leave their toys out or bring worms into the house. I will take them anywhere they want to go. I'll teach them how to be good people. I will raise them to love and be empathetic to everyone. I'll take them to see the ocean and watch the sunrise and set above it. I'll take them to the movies in their pjs. I'll let them fingerpaint, even if its an hour after I washed the floor. I won't let them think they are anything less then beautiful, important, creative, magnificent and appreciated. I will treat my children like the blessings they are! I'll even let them eat ice cream for breakfast and pancakes for dinner... God, please, just give me the chance to love my babies!