Friday, June 08, 2007

Book Club Questions

Yes, I know I'm late... I'm a really bad book club member... I'm the George Castanza of this group!

Hop along to another stop on this blog tour by visiting the main list at You can also sign up for the next book on this online book club: The Kid by Dan Savage.

Peggy Orenstein says, 'The descent into the world of infertility is incremental. Those early steps seem innocuous, even quaint; IUI was hardly more complex than a turkey baster. You're not aware of how subtly alienated you become from your body, how inured to its medicalization. You don't notice your motivation distorting, how conception rather than parenthood becomes the goal, how invested you become in its 'achievement'." Does this accurately describe your experience? Would you say you have become alienated from your body while struggling with infertility?

I felt that I became so obsessed with getting pregnant that I lost sight of the actual outcome. It is so easy to become alienated and I felt I almost had to disassociate with my body, especially after the poking and proding in private places, the shots, the weight gain, the hormonal changes. My BF would often ask me "what are you doing for yourself?" There was nothing. Its such an obsession to become pregnant, nothing else matters. My relationships with friends and family dissolved, as did my relationship with myself. I have had a successful pregnancy, yet I still feel betrayed by my body.

On p. 233, Orenstein describes what infertility cost her: "Becoming a parent can't give me back the time ... obliterated by obsession. It doesn't compensate for the inattention to my career, for my self-inflicted torment, for trashing my marriage." How is your experience with infertility and the toll it has taken on your life similar or different from Orenstein's?

While my husband was absolutely wonderful, there was still a toll taken on our relationship. When sex is determined by a thermometer or a color change, or doctor's orders, the romance is pretty much gone. It actually surprises me that more couples don't end up divorced or seperated after dealing with infertility. The hormonal changes alone are enough to send anyone fleeing. I feel that I didn't give enough to my students these last few years, which is so unfair to them. I alienated so many friends. I fought so much with my mom and sister. Yet, somehow, everything has turned out okay.

I know I'm probably supposed to answer more questions, but I am feeling so disheveled! Like I said, I'm the George Costanza of this group! Did anyone else feel Peggy's husband was a little cold? Some of his comments and reactions were just so strange. Maybe I'm just spoiled!