Wednesday, April 18, 2007

My apologies...

So, I've made it!
And I feel like I need to explain myself over these last few whiny posts. Before being pregnant, I always said I would be the happiest pregnant person around and never complain. Now, it feels like all I do is complain. I remember reading blogs from pregnant women and thinking how annoying it was that they were complaining about being pregnant when that is all I ever wanted! I'm trying not to complain, really! The thing is, I'm still so nervous about something going wrong. I want to be done so I can hold my baby in my arms and know that this pregnancy was successful. Lately, it seems so much has been going wrong. Not big things, but the contractions were scary, as was the day I didn't feel her move. There is no innocence with an infertile pregnancy.

On another note, I am seriously done with school! I had so many parents asking at conferences what will happen with THEIR child when I'm not there... Will I come back after the baby (yeah, I'll drop her off at a sitter's on the way home from the hospital to teach your kid!)? And my maternity sub is making me anxious and nervous about what she is going to be doing with the kids. I seriously cannot plan for her for the last 6 weeks of school! And she's bugging me about report cards and grading the kids... First grade has been my life for so long, its hard to take a step back. I really am more done with school than I am with my pregnancy.

I went to the doctor yesterday. I'm almost at 2 cm dilated, which is great since I'm still feeling the contractions, but I'm not effaced at all. I asked if I could possible go early, or if she thinks I'll go to my due date. She told me usually first timers go past their due date, which I thought was a good answer... If I go early, I'll be happy, but I'm not as anxious as if she would have told me I could go any minute. She also told me some, um, intimate time with dh could possibly work. That's great since I feel and look as sexy as a gorilla during a heat wave!

So, I hope I didn't offend anyone with my complaints.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Another scare!

I am NOT going to labor and delivery again until I am in labor... I said that the last time, and yesterday, I spent 2 hours there... Two hours while my friends were at my house listening to an obnoxious woman talk about jewelry. I planned this jewelry party months ago, and was so excited to be having it! My house was clean, I felt pretty good, all was great! My bf came over early and helped me shop. I bought alcoholic beverages (I didn't get carded, though:() Conferences are over, hooray!
Last night, I'm sitting with my friends and my mom asks if the baby has been moving. I told her not really, but figure its b/c I've been on the go constantly. I start poking at my belly. Nothing. I went to the bathroom. Nothing. I went into the other room and laid on the floor. Nothing. I drank an entire Pepsi. Nothing. I am starting to get really scared. I called the doctor's office and the midwife calls me back within minutes. Labor and delivery, she says. My mom asks if I want her to take me and I tell her I don't really want to go alone. She gets the car and I loose it. My bf was wonderful and told me to just pray, and that she would pray. My mom and I drove all the way to the hospital holding hands. I kept saying "she has to be okay"! My heart was pounding and I was shaking.
We finally get to the hospital and they wisk me right into a room. They still make me pee in a cup and put on a gown. I want to scream and yell and tell them to just hook me up to a monitor NOW. Finally, they do, and I hear the most beautiful sound... the horse galloping sound of Baby's heart. I start to cry again, just out of relief.
All is well, baby is doing great, and Idon't think she has STOPPED moving today!! :)
My mom assures me that this is just her way of preparing us for all the worrying we will do throughout her lifetime.
Life is precious... I can't believe how much I love this baby girl already!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

One is the Lonliest Number

I was a one last week.
I have had probably a million contractions, some bordering on painful.
My belly feels NUMB when I touch it.
I was positive I would be at least a 2 or 3.
NOPE, still a whopping 1.

4 weeks left, and trying to enjoy every last minute of it!
If anyone knows anyways of inducing labor, please let me know!!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A Case of PUPP and an Irritable Uterus

I have this crazy rash that started at my belly, moved up to my breasts (very classy to be itching your boobs!), down my arms (although, this could be my sun allergy), and then to my legs. My OB was concerned, until she did a blood test on my liver and all was fine. I was not fine... After two weeks of itching like crazy, I finally went to the dermatologist. He was the strangest man ever! He rambles on about giving me oral steroids (which I would have refused) and then perscribes some topical steroid which he tells me I can check with my "OBwonkonobe" if I want to. He then asks me if I'll make it until the end of the school year. Since there are 8 weeks left of school, and 5 of my pregnancy, I tell him no. He tells me that pregnancies usually go 2 weeks after your due date. I shrugged him off. This guy was WEIRD!!

Yesterday, I went to my OB and I am telling her about my case of PUPP and the weird dermatologist. She is laughing with me about his strangeness, and tells me the meds he perscribed are fine. She asks if I have any questions and I bring up this weird belly pain I have been having since the day before. She wants to measure my belly and then hook me up to a machine to see if I'm having contractions. I measure at 38 weeks for her, which is strange because two weeks ago I measured right where I should be for the other doctor. She mentions something about doing another ultrasound to see how big this baby is. First, she hooks me up to the contraction machine, which is next to this big recliner, so I'm loving just sitting there, reading my People with my feet up. She comes back in to tell me I'm contracting. I really don't think much of it; its probably Braxton Hicks, right? Then she examines me... I'm dilated to 1! At this point I start to cry. I have been telling everyone I'm "done" being pregnant, but I guess I'm really not. She calms me down, and sends me to the hospital. Of course, Jeff did not go with me to this appt., so I have to call him and try to sound like I'm in control and cool about everything. I tell him to take his time, when I really want him there NOW!
I also called my mom who answers the phone "Are you having your baby?" I just laughed and said "Well, actually..." and explained everything. She says she's going to stay home, which I'm secretly relieved about. I need no more stress!

At the hospital, I'm hooked up again and given an IV. My nurse turns out to be the parent of a child I had last year. Thank goodness my doctor checked me! I DO NOT need a former parent to see my privacy!! I lay in my beautiful gown and watch TV, feeling hungry, but not allowed to eat. My uterus is apparently irritable, even after the IV. I'm given a shot of something that makes me shaky and thankfully, a turkey sandwich. I was finally sent home with instructions to stay off my feet today. The doctor is supposed to call me today to check on me, so we'll see what my next instructions are. The nurse said I could make it to May, but they want to at least get me to make it to 36 weeks so my babe doesn't have to spend time in the NICU.

Wow... in another week, I could be a MOM!!