Thursday, July 27, 2006

What to Expect When You Are NOT Expecting, Part II

In light of the lovely fight I had with my mom yesterday...

6. People will say dumb things. REALLY dumb things. Here are some of my favorites:
At least you aren't dying!
I have a friend, and she didn't talk about infertility at all!
You sure are crabby!
Not everyone needs to be educated.
Are you doing it right?
Are you getting the right hole?
You know it has to be done during the middle of your cycle, right?
Just relax! You are thinking about it too much!
Maybe you just aren’t meant to have children.
IVF will cause cancer.
If you do IVF, you’ll have to be on birth control pills for the rest of your life.
You know, there are other ways to have children.

I would NEVER go through IVF!
Are you pregnant yet? No? Well, tell me when you are.
Adopt! My sister was two weeks from getting her baby when she found out she was pregnant, so she didn’t need to adopt.

Call ME if you want to talk!
My friend told me not to bring it up, so I won't talk about it.
Here! I found this in a magazine. This is your answer!
I just went to my OB/GYN and took Clomid for a year.
You are lucky you have this extra time with your husband.
Have you checked your temperature?

This is God's way of teaching you patience.
You are going to be way overprotective when you have your baby.
God will give you a baby when your time is right.

I could comment on all of these things, but I can’t even dignify them with a response. I usually just stutter some lame response. And then, guess what? I cry...

Just to be fair....

Here are the BEST things people have said:

How are you doing?
Can I get you anything?
Can I help?
Tell me how this procedure works...
You and Jeff are going to make wonderful parents!
Your baby(ies) are going to be so lucky to have you!
There is a reason for everything... You will be able to help other women going through this.
You are amazing.
You are strong.
I will be a surrogate if you need me to be.
I'm coming over with a chocolate milkshake!
I love you.
The whole world is waiting on these babies. They are going to be so loved when they get here!
I'm proud of you.
I don't always know the right thing to say, but I am thinking about you.
I am praying for you.
You have every right to your feelings.
I can't wait to see your babies!!
I want to be a dad to our babies.

These comments were said with so much love by my friends (Venting Room, and the J's) my wonderful aunt, and my lovely husband. A lot of these comments are just supportive of me and my Jeff. They are just so simple, but they make me feel safe.

I know the insensitive comments are not meant to be vendictive or mean, but they hurt... I need to post "advice" like Dianne did!! :) Thanks for reading!


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