H O P E

Today I have hope. She came back full force today. I'm not sure why she has decided to grace me once again with her presence, but I'm not pushing her away. I revel in her attention, enjoying every minute.

I had a doctor's appointment today, just for baseline bloodwork and ultrasound. I was unusually calm. Usually I'm so anxious, but today, nothing. They took me right back for my blood, and I didn't bruise today! After the blood and non-bruising, I had my ultrasound immediately. There was a new ultrasound tech. She was soooo young and kept saying things like "looks gorgeous" and "just one more peak and I'll be outie". Very strange comments when a perfect stranger has her hand betwen your thighs poking around with a condom wearing wand that closely resembles a dildo. Anyways.. She was poking around for a good 10 minutes. She found a fibroid and a "remnant" of a cyst or follie. I wasn't alarmed, I was just relieved when she got out of there!

I drove away and headed off to work out. My sister called and asked me to pick her up so she could work out with me. We watch the closed captioning of The View and discover we both don't believe in open marriages and dislike Colin Farrel because he looks like he needs a bath. We left and headed for Panera. I ate my fruit cup and large iced tea while my sister sipped her I.C. Mocha and butter laden bagel. My sister is a good 30 lbs less than me. Something is NOT fair in our gene pool! We go shop for awhile, and I discover she has been talking to some people at work about me and has all these women giving her information on adoption and such. I was shocked! I was under the impression that she was oblivious to my pain, but instead, she is out there doing preliminary leg work for adoption! I was amazed, especially after the fight I had with my mom!

Oh, and the nurse finally called saying my estrogen level was 30.2, and my progesterone level was .99 and I'm good to start Estrace and decrease lupron on Monday. And all I can think about is jumping online and ordering the Bella Band because I'll definitly need it soon...

Wow... Hope... Back full force. Please, please, please, don't let me down!