Friday, July 27, 2007

Dh complaint

Today, dh took off of work so he could hang out with me and the baby. We saw the Harry Potter movie and then went to let out my mom's puppy and then off to his mom's house. My parents, brother and sister all went off to Great America for a day of fun. I was a little bummed that I was not invited, but I wouldn't have been able to go anyways. I felt a tiny twinge of jealousy, but it passed. I do miss my freedom from time to time, but I don't think I would trade it for all the money in the world. Tomorrow dh is going golfing with his dad. For some reason, this really irratated me. I wasn't sure why, and then it hit me... His life hasn't changed at all. While I am at home feeding, burping, changing and playing, he is at work (yes, I would much rather be at home!!). Over the weekends, he doesn't understand why we aren't going out to dinner or doing much of anything. Sometimes I get to go work out, but only if he gets home right after I feed Emilia. I'm not complaining, I'm just pondering why it is that dh's life gets to pretty much stay normal, while mine has completely turned upside down. Has anyone else experienced this? does it pass? I just hate that I find myself getting really angry at dh as he lounges on the couch while I'm doing mommy stuff. I just wish he would take Emilia and play with her and love her like I do. I want them to be close, but I feel like I am doing 95% of the bonding. Maybe because I was never close with my dad, I want things to be different. After all we went through for this kid, I would think he would be a little more into her... I don't know... maybe this is just sleepiness crabbiness talking...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stumbled across your bloggings - Advice from one who has children - you have to just put the baby in his lap and inform him that you are going off to do XYZ. And yes - the baby may cry and yes - he might not get it right the first time, but you have to let go of the reins and let him find his way. This is the only way he can truly bond with your beautiful bundle of joy and learn how to be a parent. If you don't expect him to help, then he won't. If you assume he will, he doesn't have a choice and soon he will come to love being a caretaker just as much as you. Us Moms tend to get comfy in the fact that we "know" that this cry means she's hungry and that cray means a diaper change, while the dads are left in the dark. We have to learn to relinquish some of that control in order for them to find their own way thru this crazy parenting world! You can't "talk" to him about helping more - you have to just hand the baby over and let him do it - trust me on this - you will both be glad that you did!
Good Luck!

Jenn said...

I couldn't agree with the other comment more. I too started to resent that my husband's life hadn't changed while mine had- until I started delegating more. Once I asked him to do certain things I felt less resentful of the things I had to do. Young babies are hard- there isn't much you can do with them besides sit, rock, walk with them, etc. so it is easy to see how men can seem kind of inept. But once Mia starts to get a little older- I'd say about five or six months old- she will develop this little personality and will better be able to interact with your husband. Then, beware, there will be no separating the two!