Sunday, August 12, 2007


I've been getting posts from random women offering me advice... THANK YOU!! :) I appreciate all the help I can get because lately I have been feeling like my life is spinning out of control!

I talked to the therapist on Thursday, and she was worried! Great! I worried my therapist. She called my general practioner while I was in the office and made me set up an appointment to get medication (she can't perscribe them herself). She diagnosed me with PPD, and OCD. The thoughts that I have been having are NOT normal. I was told to reduce the times I check on her and to realize my fears are all unfounded... easier said then done. I was hesitant to get on the meds, but since Emilia is at the 3 month mark, they are pretty safe for breastfeeding. My GP was not worried about them entering her system and noted that I needed to take care of myself, too.

I've been really trying to leave dh alone with Emilia more. He mostly sticks her in the swing or her bouncy seat, but he has been interacting more. I just get so frustrated b/c the weekends have become my cleaning time, while he sits around and watches TV. My responsibilities have tripled; his have stayed the same. And he wonders why I'm not interested in any romance!

Today we are going on a date. I don't want to go. I hate leaving Emilia so much! Today we are leaving her with his parents who have seen her MAYBE 6 or 7 times since she's been born. His mom asked if she bought a Pack 'N Play would we bring her around more... um... no... come over here and enjoy her! I feel way more comfortable leaving her with my mom who has seen her pretty much every day or every other day since she has been born. I need to keep telling myself that she will be okay... it is not an easy thing to do. The images in my mind play like that of a parents worst nightmare... the stuff you hear about on the news that makes you cry... pure horror and terror.

Wish me luck!


Jenn said...

Joei- I'm glad that you are getting the help that you need. With regards to leaving Mia- I never wanted to leave Hayley either. But keep in mind- dh's parents have just as much love in their hearts for little Mia that your Mom does. If they had the opportunity to see her every day I bet they would. I know exactly how you feel about wanting to keep Mia in your home where both you and she are familiar and comfortable but letting her spend time at her grandparents house is also a fantastic learning experience for her. Hopefully someday you will find a comfort with that. Good luck with all of this!

Kristin said...

I hope the meds make you feel like a new woman -- in a good way, no bad side effects.

How was your date?

Linlee said...

My hubby and I just talked about the swing thing the other day and he said "yeah I tried just sticking her in her swing and it doesn't work." lol