Monday, November 27, 2006

Just tell me I'm CRAZY!!

I'm sure I am losing my mind. I am sure it is the fault of a pregnancy magazine I read last night. I thought these magazines were supposed to make you feel good; this one kept me up all night. First, it said that pregnant women are gaining too much weight, which causes gestational diabetes and preterm labor. It also talks about eating the "right" way, and if you don't your baby will not be normal.

N O R M A L

What a word! I've never wanted to be considered normal with a normal life and a normal outlook... Now, its all I want for this baby! I have moments where I'm sure something has happened to the baby, like when I bent over I squashed the baby and its smooshed in my belly. Or that the imbilical cord is wrapped around its little neck. And I'm afraid I'm not getting enough protein and my baby will be born with mental issues. Oh, and there was this article about autism. Being a teacher, I know the devastation this can cause. I'm worried I'm going to gain too much weight, and in the same breath, I'm worried that my belly isn't growing fast enough.

I think part of my paranoia comes from a friend of mine who lost her baby because of MTHFR at 17 weeks. It was terrible, and I'm so worried I don't deserve this Sprout and God will take it away from me!

On a happier note, I think I started to feel Sprout move! Last week, I raised my voice to get the kids' attention, and I swear I felt a jump! I've been feeling little movements since then, but it could also be gas or my imagination. I know its kind of early to feel anything.

Thanks for letting me vent... Please feel free to reassure me until your hearts are content!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think it is part of being a good mother - you worry from the beginning. I haven't been pregnant but I am positive I will be the exact same way. Worry. Worry. Worry.

I hope you do start to feel Sprout move around more soon.