A little scary...

I have totally been slacking on my posts... seems pregnancy can make you feel nauseous and tired. Bet you never heard that before...
Anyways... Monday I had a good appointment and was released to a regular OB. I've been trying to set up an appt. with them since Tuesday, but they won't hear of it. Apparently, the nurse I'm dealing with is... brash and can come across as uncaring... I have been assured by my friends and my RE that they are great doctors, just this nurse is not the friendliest.

I really needed a friendly and caring nurse yesterday as I started to spot. Now, if you don't know me very well, you might not know that I tend to overreact and worry.. a lot... I can be dramatic. When I noticed the spotting, I heard a little voice say that it was okay and normal, but the neurotic side was completely freaking out...

I called the OB and talked to the Bitchy Nurse. I told her I was spotting, and she just kind of sighed and said she wanted to ask me questions. She asked why my RE released me so soon. Um??? I don't know... They are professionals... Everything looks great, why not??? She said it was unusual that usually they don't release patients until 10 weeks (the RE nurse said this was definitly NOT the case, I trust her!) . Then she starts quizzing me on my asthma meds and saying they are a class C. I ask if I should stop them, but she says no, since its important to breathe. And then she starts bugging me about my cat. "They didn't screen you for Toxoplasmosis??? Why not?" Again, I don't know... and from what I've read you are in danger if you get cat feces near you face. Considering my cat does not go outside and I haven't changed the litter box in 19 months, I think my chances are pretty low of having it...

Anyways, I'm still concerned about the spotting and she indicates that since I haven't seen a doctor yet, I'm not really a patient. And, they close at 1. And tomorrow they close at 1. Weird. She tells me she'll have to call me back about setting up an initial appointment sometime on Friday. Well, it is 10:40 and I haven't heard a peep. I'm calling at 12, I don't care if I"m annoying or not!!

I did call my RE and although they don't do OB ultrasounds on Fridays b/c they close early, they said they will squeeze me in. I had to wait for about 30 minutes, but I diddn't care. It was amazing at the care they showed for me. The u/s tech spent forever with me, showing me the heartbeat and amazing 3-D pictures. My baby has a head, eye sockets, two arms, two legs, and umbilical cord, and a bottom!! It was so cool!! She printed off 3 for me. Just the relief I feel is amazing!!

That is my drama for now. The nurse just called back and is setting me up for an appointment. She must have felt my annoyance. The receptionist I just talked to was a sweet as can be and set me up with my appointments and said "congratulations!" That's all I needed to hear.

I'm off to the couch for a few days of resting with my feet up. I feel this baby must be a girl after the worrying she is already making me do! :)

I've been tagged... again!!

Sorry this has taken so long to respond, to Jamie!! I teach in Illinois, too! :)
Here it goes!

1. Trust~This is an issue for me. I either trust people way too much or way too little. I've noticed that over the last few years, I have been burned pretty badly and don't trust people nearly as much as I used to when I was naive and innocent. When I do trust people, I just pray they don't let me down. I was really weary of giving out my blog address to even my closest friends for just this reason! I try to be a very trustworthy person. When someone tells me "Don't tell anyone" I put it in the "vault" and its there forever. I believe trust and love are so closely related; they are almost the same!

2. Orange~I dated a guy in high school and part of college that wore a lot of orange... One time he asked me to describe him in one word, and this is the word that came to mind. He could be sweet and charming, as well as quite demeaning. He was flamboyant, so much so, some people I know from high school claim he was gay... We dated for 3 years, which is a really long time, especially when you start dating at 17. Breaking up was the best thing for me. It allowed me to be free! He is so orange; loud, kind of obnoxious, but people are generally drawn to it.

3. Designer~Hmmm... I don't know... I think of Clinton and Stacy and there designer clothes. I'm not big on names or designers. My clothes come mostly from Target and Old Navy... This was a hard one, Jamie!

4. Spice~Life needs spice! Since dh and I started ttc, we kind of fell into a pattern. We stopped seeing our friends as much. People showed their true colors. We are still in this rut and we need some spicing up. I know this, he knows this. I think it is so important for couples to stay connected and not fall into the little ruts that break up marriages. This baby is sure spicing things up and I think it will only continue!!

I'm tagging...
Jenn
Mel
Dianne
Sarah

Here are your words:
1.Snow
2.Round
3.Innocent
4.Cookie

Its official...

Today, I heard the words I've been dreaming of for soooo long... Uterine Pregnancy... Not that "you are pregnant" wasn't fantastic, but to know that my baby is burrowed inside and taking her supply of what she needs... I have no words.

We have a heartbeat! Yes, only one, much to the chagrin of the grandmoms to be... I was even a tad disappointed, but it was quickly erased to see this little beating thing... Probably the coolest thing I have ever seen! J came with and held my hand and grinned.

I asked about my prospective due date, and she said I'm about 6 weeks, 4 days; almost an entire week ahead of what I first thought! My due date would be May 3rd, the day before my mom's b-day. Another Taurus to butt heads with (sorry, Dianne, I was hoping for a Gemini, too!).

Thank you for all your kind words about my last freak out blog... I bought "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" and "Belly Laughs". Both are way funnier and don't have thinks like: "You will miscarry this baby and have no chance of ever having another baby again if you even THINK about caffeine."

I'm off to contemplate my naval and stare at the back of my eyelids for a few hours! :)

One Neurotic Mama

If you are reading this and ttc, please, please, please don't be annoyed at my complaints. I feel like I'm going to loose it at any moment and just need to get it out!!

Since I found out I was pregnant, I have been on an emotional roller coaster. One minute I'll be day dreaming about baby toes and the feel of a newborn (or two) craddled against my chest... The next I'm convinced that somehow my blood test was mixed up or that when I have my u/s there will be nothing there. I woke up a couple days ago, and felt absolutly normal. My boobs didn't hurt, I didn't feel mayo in my mouth... I called the nurse and she reassured me that this was normal and that I would have good days and bad days as my body adjusted to the hormones. The next day, to make up for it, my boobs were sore again, and I felt the worst case of nausea yet (hooray for me!!). So I feel like I'm pregnant, and then a little voice says "you are on progesterone and estrogen; that can make you feel pregnant, too".

And the books don't help, either! Its all "guard your happiness" and "don't tell!" I have done so much to get this far, and you are telling me I can't be happy yet? If anyone knows of any really good pregnancy books, please share them... Something uplifting would be nice...

When I was ttc, I thought as soon as I get pregnant, I'll feel just such relief. And I did... For about 4 hours. My friends have all reassured me that this is totally normal and it will probably never go away. Worrying is part of motherhood.

Monday is my first u/s. I am a little apprehensive that there will be nothing. J is confident I have about 6 babies in me. I think once I see something, that will ease my fears, at least for a few hours...

Thank you for reading. Sorry for the complaints. Please, feel free to soothe my fears! :)

4 weeks 6 days

I don't know what else to title my blog... So creative, huh???

I thought I would post the reactions of people I have told.

J said, "you're kidding? Really?" He was in total shock. The whole night he looked so much like an accident victim. He told me he was all prepared for it to be negative... Can you blame him after my meltdown the night before? Since then, he has been extremely excited calling me his "babymama". So cute!

I wanted to tell my mom in person, so I told her J was coming over to bring her something. She said she was going out, but I somehow convinced her to wait. I walked in and she looked stunned to see me. I told her and she hugged me about 4 times. She didn't cry, and told me she wanted to but "held it in".

My dad kept repeating, "I'm so happy, I'm soooo happy!"

Jeff's mom told Jeff's dad to "Come in the living room... Grandpa!" I think he was confused at first. Then he understood and hugged us both!

Jeff's mom was probably the most excited. She started to cry and say "My stomach is doing flip flops!" She asked about a million questions and said that we need to go shopping. She has already bought me a book about eating right (um... yeah...) and this beautiful wreath made of diapers and cute baby stuff. She is already planning a shower and is convinced I'm having twins!

My brother (who is only 15) is excited about being an uncle, but doesn't want to baby sit.

Jeff's brother was a little "whatever" about the whole thing.

My sister cried and has already bought Baby a tye-died onesie!

My friends are all excited. Julia probably the most so... :)

The other 1st grade teachers don't know b/c they are too self centered to ask how I am doing. The 2nd grade teacher know and are very happy! :)

My principal advised me not to tell anyone in case something happend (like I already wasn't worried enough) and asked when I would be having it, because she'll need to find a sub. Oh, and then she said congratulations. I have never seen someone so unexcited. It was like I was telling her I was having a potato for lunch, not having a baby!!

For those of you that are curious... My prog. level jumped to 57, my HCG is at 1,918, and my estrogen level is at 400. The doctor is very happy. Next week, I get my first OB ultrasound!! I'm keeping everything crossed for a healthy strong baby... or babies... :)

I have some symptoms... My boobs feel like waterballoons and I have become obsessed with poking them and having J feel them (nice thing to do to a guy when we have to abstain for the next 8 weeks). They have these really blue lines running around them. I feel bloated. I am exhausted. And here is a symptom that is totally my OWN... I have mayo mouth. No, not METAL, MAYO! I seriously feel like I ate an entire jar. It is disgusting. No morning sickness, but every afternoon I start to feel really gross... I have a feeling I'll be having morning sickness in the afternoon... NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING.... :)

The Tests Really Work!

I was in such denial that these tests even work... But here's proof! I can't help being such a dork. Man, its way fun to POAS when there is good news!

When I first thought about "telling people", I thought for sure I would wait about 12 weeks. Um... seems I can't keep a secret! I haven't told many people at school yet. Perhaps I'll send out an email with my test!
Jeff, however, has only told his parents and brother.

The moral of the story is, Joei cannot keep secrets!