Our Anniversary!

Today is dh's and my 5 year anniversary! We have been together 9 years and have known each other 13 years. We met at Jewel, were we both worked. I was 17, he was 18, we were both in other relationships. He was dating a cranky blond, and I was dating a wanna be punk rocker. Both of us had the typical rocky relationships. My exboyfriend and I fought more than we were happy together. When he broke up with me, it was because I wasn't happy enough. I was crushed, but felt a little bit of... freedom! People kept telling us we would get back together. Oh, how I tried, but he moved on and I... well, I made up for the not dating anyone else for the past 3 years. I went away to college when I was 20, dating random guys and working at Jewel over breaks. Jeff would talk to me, but he was really shy. He asked my roomate, Jessica, who also worked at Jewel if we were meeting lots of guys. Jess said "Well, Jo is!" Jeff said he wanted to visit us, but never did. When school let out for the summer, I worked at the Jewel greenhouse. One sunny Sunday, we were both working an 8 hour shift. I was looking forward to a carefree summer, determined to find a summer fling. I was in a great mood. I was finally over my ex and getting into the groove of things. I was extra goofy that day, and started telling people that Ricky Martin was my boyfriend (this was 9 years ago, when he was HUGE!). Jeff asked if he could be my boyfriend and I told everyone he was! I flirted with him all day, shooting him with a hose and probably being a little obnoxious. At the end of our shift, we were both filthy and exhausted. Jeff was acting all awkward and I assumed he had had enough of me and my weirdness and wanted to go home. But, instead, he asked me out! I was shocked, but said yes. Anyone who could like me at my goofiest, couldn't be all that bad...

We went out on our first date 2 days before my 21st birthday and had a blast! He was so sweet and funny. I remember laughing and feeling so comfortable with him. I remember looking at the stars and thinking "I could fall in love with this guy..." 3 years to the day, he proposed in the exact spot where I stared at the stars and a year later we were married! It hasn't all been hand holding and restaurant desserts, but it has been 5 years of falling in love over and over again.

Play Date Anxiety

Have you ever gone on a play date? Its kind of like a blind date, or for me it is, anyway... I took Emilia to Storytime in the Park today with high expectations of her running around and not listening to the story, and that is pretty much what happened. She didn't hear much of the story, but it was a cute book and there was a craft, but it was kind of over her head. I did meet a woman there with a little boy who was 5 months older than Mia. She seemed nice and we found out we go to the same pediatrician's office! That is for some reason always my question when I meet someone new... Where is your pediatrician? Its kind of like What's your sign? oh my... am I a creepy pick up play dater? When we were getting ready to leave, I wanted to ask her for her number or email or something, but HOW do you do it? Just ask? Do I make up little business cards? Something like "Joei... Emilia's Mom... Wants to be your friend" Its like a whole new world out there. It makes my heart pound and I get sweaty and I giggle a lot and worry about what I look like and what I say... Thank goodness I'm married since I don't even know how to make new friends, let alone pick up a guy...

Why Me?

Do you ever say that to yourself? Lately, I've been thinking it a lot. Why did Jessica get cancer? Why not me? Why did I get pregnant? Why is Emilia here and running around and Jessica's arms are empty?
Jess got some bad news last week. The chemo didn't work. She is going to get some radiation on her lungs, as that is where the cancer has spread. The tumor got LARGER! It just really stinks. Her only chance now is some exploratory medication that is not FDA approved. She has only heard bad news for the past 18 months. This is the second summer she will not be able to go to the Indiana Dunes, where we have gone every year since we were 17. She get too tired to even go for a short walk. Shopping is out of the question. All the million things I do daily and take for granted are almost impossible for her. And she counts herself "lucky" because she wasn't very sick from the chemo. What do you say to someone who is fighting for her life? I'm sorry? Look at the positive? What right do I have to complain about a bad day at work or trouble with Emilia? Its all so insignificant.